When a friend told me that we need to meet, I agreed without thinking anything. I told them yes, whenever you come here next, we are going to meet. And I instantly realised how strange it was of me.
I was not just saying yes to meeting them in one go, but also saying yes to meeting them for the first time. We've known each other for around three years now and have never met. This is not an odd occurrence with me.
Most of the times, I feel that I'd like to keep all the contacts virtual, over texts. Talking to people over calls, video calls, meeting them in person is like a huge task. Yes, I know all of these add an essence to the relationship which texting can't, but I just can't meet everybody all the time.
I have noticed how I'd think at least 100 times before saying yes to meeting my closest friends. So, saying yes to meeting this person instantly was very unusual.
And then, a couple of days ago, a friend I have met just once - that too in 2016 - video-called me. I was obviously surprised but the nervous me went ahead to take the call and have a quick 'let's catch up' chat with them.
I realised that I should think about a hundred things when interacting with people whose company I can like.
I asked myself - What led to this change?
I don't have a concrete answer.
Maybe I am trying to let myself be.
Or maybe I am trying to escape something.
I don't know!
I think I saw the change for the first time in January last year - I went on a date with myself. It felt good to be out all by myself. I was planning to do it often but the pandemic happened and then I forgot all about it.
In fact, Covid has made me want to go out and interact with people. After working from home for a year now and with no hopes of going back to the office any time soon, I find that the introvert in me is having a hriday-parivartan ('change of heart' doesn't have that emotion).
The desperation for communication was so much that I ended up texting a simple 'hi' to around 20 people with hopes that someone would really want to talk to me. This has happened at least twice!
But yeah, it really doesn't mean that I'm happy being in crowds. I don't like them even now.
And it, of course, doesn't mean that I'm planning to meet or talk to anybody and everybody. The thought makes the hriday-parivartan take a U-turn and head to my shell right away.
Do you see yourself as an extrovert or an introvert? Or are you an ambivert? Maybe an omnivert?
(Side note: I discovered that there's a term called omnivert only recently and I guess it defines me better.)
Just remember that the tags don't really matter much. If you don't know or don't want to categorise yourself, it's okay!
Have you observed a change in your thoughts while meeting people before and after the pandemic? Or maybe over the years?
Feel free to share your thoughts... I'm listening...
Yours
Saumya
PS: I have been wondering if you would like to takeover ‘Dear You’ for a weekend. Do let me know you’d like to :)
Hi! I'm Saumya - a journalist, blogger and poet. Souls that Listen is a safe space for all. With Dear You, I hope to share our Dil ki Baatein...Dil se Dil Tak.
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